mindfulness practices

The foundation of every mindfulness skill is the breath! The source of life, the most basic need, breathing can bring our focus to our core (a quiet interior space) and help us to center in any kind of storm - external or internal. Biochemically, btw, it feeds our brain and dissipates the stress hormones that activate our distress. Practicing frequently, every day, will make these nourishing, calming breaths readily available when you need them. And these 5 breaths are also ideal "bookends" for any mindfulness practice (meditation, walking, journaling, art and music...) orienting your attention to the activity and taking its benefits back into normal activity. 

Note the longer outbreath, which is also strategic: it activates the parasympathetic nervous system and down-regulates your various aroused bodily responses - like heart rate, BP, sweat, tightened throat - and slows the "fight-flight-freeze" response. And we use 5 of them - because it can take those first 2 just to relax into the pattern. When distracted by thoughts, just practice returning to your center, your quiet space. Return as many times as you need to.

Here's how one breath goes:

• Breathe in slowly (ideally through the nose), filling your belly, allowing your chest to rise, as you count to 5
• Blow out gently through your mouth, to the count of 8, completely expelling your air and emptying your belly, dropping tight muscles as you exhale. It helps to make your breath loud enough to focus on the sound of air going in and out of your body.
• Rest for 2. Then repeat for at least 5 times.

Modify the pattern if you wish, but always breathe out longer than in. If thoughts arise - and they will! - let them float by like bubbles, put them on a moving cloud, or on a leaf in a flowing stream. No need to get hooked to a thought that isn't useful right now. Just enjoy the quiet and let that be enough.

When trying out a "body scan" or "progressive relaxation," clients often tell me it's difficult to notice where tension is in order to relax it, or to know "relaxed" when you get there. This approach can help!

• As always, open and close with 5 patterned breaths.
• Lie comfortably on your back - on a bed, the floor, the grass, anywhere you are comfortable - and feel your body sink into that surface.
• Curl your toes tightly, then release; flex your foot, and again release.
• Now the ankles - tighten and release.
• Slowly tense and release each muscle group: calves, thighs, pelvic floor, buttocks, belly, pectorals, biceps, forearms. 
• Flex your hands as open as you can, then release. Clench your fists in a tight grip, then release.
• Proceed up your arm to the shoulders, hunch them up, and drop into a complete release - do this one a couple of times if you need to - we hold a lot of tension in our shoulders and scapula.
• Continue up your neck, tightening and releasing
• Squinch up your face, then furrow your forehead, each time releasing to softness. 
• Finally tighten up your scalp and ears, then release. 
• As you finish, scan briefly back down to your toes to see if any muscles have tensed again - repeat just for those tight spots. 
• Stay in that relaxed state for as long as you wish, letting gratitude for this quiet moment wash over you.

Don't worry if you don't get to all the muscle groups - this is also a great way to fall asleep! But if you don't, close with 5 deep patterned breaths, and send the nourishing oxygen all through your body, supporting your continued relaxation and rest.

Here is a skill to bring your attention to this present moment and pay exquisite attention to what is happening right here, right now. It is also great brain-training, teaching you to become a compassionate observer, without being activated by every little thing that comes along - inside or out! If you are doing good cognitive work or exploring the sources of pain in memories - it is always best to be able to observe without being activated. Go as slowly or fast as you wish - depending on the time you have available. This exercise, once you get good at it, can be done for 3 minutes or 30 minutes.

• Get settled and do the 5 patterned breaths to enter the practice.
• First, just look - see everything you can see, inside or outside. Notice the shapes and colors, light and shadow, objects named, juxtaposition... Just look. Don't judge or question anything. Just observe.
• Now gently close or lower your eyes and start to listen: sounds that are outside or indoors, natural or human-made, even sounds inside your own body. Just listen and observe the sounds.
• Notice smells, again outside and maybe from your own breath and body
• Now tastes - notice how different parts of your mouth taste different!
• Tactile sense takes a while, like sight. Feel the sensations of your body: how the air or clothing feels touching different places on your skin, temperature, texture, where your body contacts your chair or the ground. Then scan your body for any sore spots, itch, stiffness, softness - just notice. We're not fixing, just observing.
• Finally, take those observational skills inside, to your quiet inner space. Notice that there are most likely thoughts and feelings going on - and just observe them. There's some sad, some anger; there are some worries, maybe some regrets... Don't follow them anywhere, just notice.
• Once you are done, do it all briefly again,  in reverse: feelings/thoughts, body scan, taste, smell, listening, and, after 5 patterned breaths, opening your eyes and looking around you. Welcome back!

Take a wonderful mental "vacation" for 2 minutes or 20. This is an important skill for those exploring trauma and other sources of pain. But it is also a refreshing break from the busyness of our days - and of our minds! 

•  Sit comfortably and gently close or lower your eyes.
• Think about places where you have felt safe and calm and choose one to visit. It can be indoors or in nature, familiar or rare, real or imaginary - the emotional center of your brain will not know the difference! Choose a specific spot, where you will be able to relax.
• Once you have decided where to go, settle in and take those 5 deep patterned breaths to prepare for your journey.
• In your mind, start near the place you will visit, and walk slowly towards your spot, anticipating how nice it will be there! Notice how your body feels, looking forward and shedding stress as you approach your special place.
• Settle in your spot  and breathe the supportive air, take in the environment, sit in your enjoyment of this place.
• Slowly start to follow the 6 Senses practice (see previous exercise) to fully experience this wonderful place in your mind! That means taking in all the lovely colors and light and shapes you can see, natural and human-made sounds you can hear, the smells and tastes of the air and your own body, every breeze or temperature or touch you feel on and in your body; then gradually going inside to your emotional space and noticing whatever is there, including the peacefulness and calm this place welcomes you to feel. Hang out in the quiet for a while, doing nothing.
• When you are ready to leave, in your mind rise gently from your spot and walk slowly away,  As you go, look back at your spot, remembering how peaceful it is, how welcoming, how safe and calm. This is a moment to remind yourself that you can return to this peaceful place whenever you like - you don't need a plane ticket, permission, or a day off from work - you always have the freedom to return whenever you choose.
• Close with 5 patterned breaths, bringing the peacefulness with you into your daily life.